Lies
by MassiveMilkshakeNerd
Summary: Ciel still hasn't gotten over the death of his parents, even after all these years. Picking up on this, his butler decides to have a talk with his master before he goes on any further.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler). All rights belong to the author, Yana Toboso. I am merely using her characters and story for entertainment.**

* * *

The Phantomhive manor was built upon lies. From the inhabitants to the black-and-white tiled floors to every nook and cranny, they all spoke of lies. The head of this estate, Ciel Phantomhive, thought on this as he ascended the stairs, on how true it really was.

Reaching the top of the stairs, the Earl looked over at the portrait of his deceased parents and frowned. He thought he had asked his butler to take it down. _But do I really want to?_ This thought made his usually deep frown deeper and he quickly marched to his bedroom. After having to deal with his business partners all day, he was very tired and all he wanted to do was take a nice, hot bath and go to sleep.

 _That's a lie_.

When he had finally reached his bedroom, he quickly went in, shut the door, and with a _thump_ , sat down on his bed. Without thinking, he began to strip himself of his formal attire, forgetting for the moment that that was his butler's job.

If the Earl was being completely honest with himself, he would say he wanted to fall asleep in his mother's arms again. He'd say that he wished he were a child, a small, innocent one with no care in the world. Of course, he'd never think this and he absolutely refused to say so aloud, lest it ruin his pride as the fearless and indomitable Earl of Phantomhive.

The Earl was feeling particularly reminiscent today. Not liking how he was feeling, the boy quickly stripped himself of the rest of his clothing and called for Sebastian. Perhaps a bath would snap him out of it. Yes, a bath would usually help in clearing unwanted thoughts.

At once, the loyal butler appeared. He gazed at his master's naked form, surprised that he had actually figured out how to get out of his clothes. _Now if only he'd get into them as well_...

"Yes, sir?"

"Go fill up the bath. And make it hot. I'm feeling very out of it today."

The butler bowed gracefully and went to do as he was told, like the faithful dog he was.

Once the bath was full, the boy tentatively placed his foot in the steamy water and, finding it acceptable, sank down into it with a sigh. He could already feel himself start to relax.

After his master had looked to be fully relaxed, the butler began to wash his hair, and then his body. The boy was unknowingly taking comfort in this act of affection. His thoughts then began to betray him as he thought of when his mother used to wash him.

 _No!_

He snapped his head back up with a start and shook it. He could not think like this. _It won't help anything. They won't come back_... He felt his chest constricting.

"Young Master?" the butler asked, concern laced in his voice. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," he muttered, head lowered toward the water. "Just finish washing me."

"Very well."

After a while, the butler spoke up. "Memories are only memories, sir. They can haunt you, all day if you let them, but they are only shadows of what has been. You can let them go if you choose, but it seems you are having a hard time with that, yes?"

"No! And that is none of your business, demon!"

A bucket of water was dumped on the boy's head.

"Liar."

"How dare you call me such a thing!"

The butler smirked. "Oh, but it's true, isn't it? You've been lying to yourself all this time. I bet you really do miss them, don't you?"

The boy grit his teeth and replied with as much malice as he could. "They're gone. There's nothing I can do. The only thing I have to look forward to is the pain and suffering on the killers' face when I find them." He clenched his fist and looked down. "Not such a good thing when you think about it, a thirteen-year-old going after revenge..."

"But you did indeed choose this path, yes?"

"And I intend to keep walking down that path."

"Hmm," the butler mused. "Then it seems like a good time to let those memories go, doesn't it?"

"What?" The boy looked over at the butler who, instead of his usual all-knowing expression, was looking quite serious at him.

"If you are going to continue down this path then it's best to forget those memories of your parents, as they won't be here with you anymore."

The boy's eyes widened. "But... how?"

The butler helped the boy step out of the tub and began to towel him. "First of all, you mustn't lie to yourself. You must face the fact that they are dead. Second, you must find something to replace those memories. Like you once said, all we have are the present and the future. And we are living in the present now, yes? Facing reality is a good thing for any human, but especially for you, my Lord."

The boy scowled down at his butler. "I didn't know you to be a guidance counselor."

The butler smiled thoughtfully. "I can be anything the young Master wishes of me."

"Oh? And what are you right now?" the boy asked as they made their way back to his bedroom.

"I am your butler," he replied with haste. Taking a nightshirt out of the drawer and slipping it over the boy's head, he stated, "I also fancy myself as a sort of foster parent to you."

He grinned despite himself. "Foster parent? As in you're raising me to be just like you? Demonic nature and all?"

"Why, yes," he said and smiled back. "I like to think so. Is it working?"

"At the moment, you are failing."

"Oh, really?" he murmured, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. "I wonder why?"

"Perhaps because of you - Hey!"

Before he could finish what he was going to say, the butler had his arms around him. "What on earth are you doing?!"

"Why, I'm being parental, my Lord."

"I didn't ask you to be," he seethed.

The butler smiled obligingly. "You looked like you needed it."

"Hmph." Somewhat willingly, the boy put his head down on the butler's shoulder. Snuggling closer to the man, he mumbled, "You're warm."

The butler chuckled at the childishness his master was displaying. "I'm glad you find me agreeable."

"Hmph."

Then the butler began to rock back and forth whilst rubbing the boy's blue head. The boy wouldn't say that he was enjoying this fatherly sort of affection, but he was. It was strangely soothing. Even more so than the bath.

"Are they leaving?" the butler asked as the boy buried his face in his neck. "The memories?"

The boy's eyes shot open, revealing that eye, the eye that held the mark of the contract, the one which was now glowing brightly in the darkness and looked, oh, so beautiful. He sniffed and put his head back down on his shoulder. "I suppose."

The butler smirked. "Good."

"Sebastian," the boy spoke up.

"Yes?"

"You will not hold me in such an intimate position again."

"I had thought you were enjoying it, my Lord."

A single tear fell down the boy's face and he, not wanting the butler to find out, quickly jumped out of his arms and ran into bed.

The butler chuckled softly. "I see... The young Master isn't a very loving person, is he?"

The boy pulled the blankets close to him and told himself fervently not to cry.

* * *

 _You used to be a loving person, were you not?_

* * *

He felt a chill go down his spine when he felt his butler hovering over him, only to push the blue locks of hair out of his eyes and kiss him on the forehead. "Goodnight, young Master."

"Goodnight... Sebastian."

He closed his eyes tightly as they started to burn.

As he had always done before, the butler blew out the candles in the candelabrum and, without a sound, left the room. It was then that the little Earl let himself cry.


End file.
